Tough
by ShutUpImWriting
Summary: Puck was tough. A total badass. With so many secrets. That was falling apart inside, bit by bit. Most didn't notice. But Rachel Berry did. With some unexpected help, she will save him from himself. Puckleberry. Puckurt friendship. Loperry friendship.


_**READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE!**_

**This story is extremely AU. It popped into my head a while ago. Out of nowhere. Aliens, I tell you. So, what that means, is that it totally won't follow the plot, and all that stuff. Well, certain parts of it. Others…not so much. Puckleberry to the extreme. Sorry, Finnchel fans, but Finnchel causes nausea, projectile vomiting, and explosive diarrhea. I hate it. There will be dark moments. Dark like midnight. There will be violence. Of the violent kind. It's guaranteed. I can't tell you the nature of said violence, because that would be a spoiler. Touchy stuff…might trigger some people. Characters will be OOC. Yes, indeed. Do I know where I am going with this? Slightly. Sort of. Kinda. Some parts of the road are clear, and other's, foggy. You have been warned, Yupp. I hope you enjoy. =]**

Rachel tried her hardest not to judge people. It should have been easy. She had two gay dads, so she tended to be judged by the get go.

But it was hard. So. Darned. Hard. Not to judge Noah Puckerman.

He was a womanizing self-centered cruel son of a female dog.

Rachel Berry does not curse.

One minute he was a slushy throwing garbage nerd tossing overly sexually active jock, and the next, he was flirting with her via text and fighting for her when she was slushied by anyone other than him.

He was an enigma. And she doubted if he even knew what that word meant.

She sighed softly as she put the rest of her books in her locker, grabbing her sheet music before closing it. It was almost time for Glee club, and she wanted to rehearse a bit before performing. A girl with such promising talent as herself needed to prepare her voice for the best results. You'd think that one like her wouldn't need to practice, but all professionals did. And Rachel Berry was definitely a professional.

She walked toward the auditorium, her Mary Jane black flats with the low heels clicking softly against the floor. She was wearing a red headband, navy blue knitted sweater, a short red pleated skirt, and white thigh high socks with the flats.

She was just passing a classroom when she saw Principle Figgins, Coach Beiste, Mr. Schuester, and majority of the teachers of various subjects sitting in a circle, with none other than Noah Puckerman sitting in the middle.

'_Good, an intervention.'_she thought.

She quickly backtracked and leaned against the lockers beside the classroom door.

"Noah, this has been going on for to long, and now we're putting a stop to it."said Figgins.

"A stop to what? I didn't do anything. Well…I did lock a kid in the kitchens the other day. But he was such a fat ass, I figured he wouldn't mind."answered Noah.

She could picture the smirk on his face.

"Noah, stop joking around. This is serious."said Mr. Schue.

"I wasn't joking."he answered.

"Aside from your various misdeeds toward other students, I am referring to your grades. We have been overlooking this for some time, but now you have crossed the line. You cheated on your SAT's."

Rachel slapped her hand against her mouth to refrain from making any noise. She knew he was a…problem student, per say, but she didn't know he was THAT bad.

"We all believe to some varying degree, that you have cheated on each and every test you've been given since high school began. Your attendance records show that you rarely attend math and science, but you have gotten hundreds on all of the quizzes and exams. You and I know it shouldn't be that way. "

There was silence.

"Listen up Puckerman, you're one of the stars on my team. But if they prove that you've cheated, I'll sack ya. Part of me wants to believe that you're innocent, but when I look at the records they show me, it doesn't add up."said Beiste.

He didn't say anything.

"We are going to bring in your mother and discuss this with her, and then authorities are coming to the school to retest you under surveillance, because nobody with your record gets a 2400 on his SAT's. That's a perfect score we don't believe you achieved without help."

He still said nothing.

"They will be here at the end of the week. If you don't get the same score, it is likely that you will be severely punished, and perhaps by the law as well."

"Can I go now?"said Noah.

"Excuse me?"asked another teacher. "Your high school and possible college career is on the line here, and you want to leave?"

"You're holding me with no charges with evidence. In a real interrogation, you can't hold me based on opinions or beliefs. Find some crap to legit charge me with, and I'll stay. Till then, I'm out."

Rachel heard his chair scrape against the ground and she hurriedly tip toed/ran back down the hall and around the corner so she wouldn't get caught eavesdropping.

She stopped after about thirty seconds and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You should never be a spy Berry. You suck at it."

"Eep!"

She whirled around and clutched her chest, thoroughly frightened.

Puck laughed.

"Noah Puckerman, that was a very childish and immature-

"Oh, and snooping around isn't? I totally saw you. Well…I saw your red skirt more. And those legs. Rawr."

She rolled her eyes and quickly turned back around to avoid him seeing her blush.

"Dat ass."

"NOAH!"

"Chill Berry, it's not that serious. You should be proud of that fine, fine booty."

Rachel's face was on fire, but she wouldn't let him know that, so she quickly began to strut away.

Puck kept up with her. She walked faster, and he did the same.

"You're legs might be long, babe, but you're still a midget. You're not faster than me."he teased.

Rachel rolled her eyes before turning to look at him. She stared into his hazel eyes. They were sparkling today.

"You look more like yourself today."she whispered.

His eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Rachel realized her mistake, and tried to backtrack.

"Uhm…you know what? I planned to arrive at rehearsal early to get some practice in. I'm losing time. Normally I go for about half hour. I'm ten minutes behind. Will you be attending rehearsal today, Noah?"

He looked at her, before nodding slowly.

She flashed him that smile that makes you squint because it's like looking directly into sunlight, and then strut away.

"She's friggin crazy…but she's perceptive."he mumbled to himself, before frowning and walking off.

.

.

.

Perceptive indeed. But not just her.

Rachel and Kurt had noticed something seriously off with the cocky self obsessed boy named Noah Puckerman.

When he came back from juvie, something wasn't right. Yes, he was still as cocky as ever. But there was a deadness to his eyes that alarmed them.

Kurt had always been observant. It came with having such a keen sense of fashion.

Rachel had always watched Puck because, hell, she was slightly attracted to him, and her fathers and her had always supported his mother when things got rough, even though Noah didn't know that. So she was always looking out for him, no matter how many times he bullied her.

He looked like someone who was fighting as hard as they could to keep everything together, and then some.

He looked like he was going to snap, and when he did, it wouldn't be pretty.

So Rachel and Kurt had gotten together multiple times to discuss him.

And she knew she had totally messed up.

Why did she say that in the first place?

She stepped into the rehearsal room and saw Kurt sitting there, legs crossed, hands clasped, and that eerie 'you imbecile why do I even put up with you' smile.

She cleared her throat nervously.

"Hello Kurt. I was just here to-

"To get in some extra rehearsal, yadda yadda. Yes, I know. Rachel Berry, always trying to get in a bit extra. Anything else _extra_ you've done lately? Like, I don't know, blabbing a bit more than usual?"

She flushed.

"How did you know?"

"Hallways aren't empty diva, I was passing by and caught a snippet of your conversation, the likes of which I am less than pleased about."

Rachel pouted.

"I didn't mean too, Kurt."she whispered.

"Mmhm."

She wrung her hands nervously, crinkling her sheet music.

"I'm leaving. I'll be back in time for rehearsal."he said, before walking out, leaving Rachel to pout in silence.

.

.

.

True to his word, Kurt did return, along with Mercedes, but he still had that less than pleased look on his face. Santana and Brittany showed up next, pinkys linked. Sam walked in, followed by Finn and Quinn, and lastly, Mike, Tina and Artie.

walked in, looking a bit weary and annoyed. He placed down his bag before sighing and running a hand through his hair.

", if I may?"asked Rachel.

"Sure, go ahead."he mumbled, before plopping down into an unoccupied seat up front.

Rachel walked up to the front, handing her sheet music to Brad, their pianist.

"Now, guys, I was browsing through my extensive music selection on my iPod when I came across a wonderful song that I believe we could perform masterfully, and, naturally, I would be singing female lead, but I need a male counterpart with strong enough vocals to match, as this is a powerful song and I'd hate for my part to outshine my partner's, so Finn, I don't think you'll cut it this time, and-

"Aye aye aye don't you ever breath, hobbit?"

Rachel's mouth slammed shut and she glared at Santana.

"While I have a tendency to ramble, Santana, majority of the words that come out of my mouth tend to have meaning and significance, unlike yours."

"If your words are so 'significant' then how come nobody gives a damn about them? Sit down."

Rachel bristled.

"Santana, leave Rachel alone. Whatever comes out of her mouth is good."

The fiery Latina rolled her eyes.

"Fall back, Finnocence. You can't even spell half the words she said."

"I need you all to shut up."

They all started and stared at , who had his fingers on the bridge of his nose, looking like he was sporting a massive headache.

"Rachel, we all know you are talented, so you don't need to keep reminding us of that. And Santana, if you could tone down your disgusting attitude to a minimum, I'd appreciate it. We're a team guys. Act like one. Now, where is Puck?"

All eyes shot to the seat he normally occupied.

Schue shook his head.

"Unbelievable."he muttered.

Rachel frowned. 'He said he would be here…'

Just then, a phone rang, loudly. The tune of Sweet Caroline blared from the small device.

"It's coming from your bag, Diva."started Kurt.

She frowned as she went to retrieve it. That wasn't her ring tone.

"Rachel, phones are supposed to be on vibrate."

"Thank you for pointing that out, ."mumbled Rachel, a blush staining her cheeks as she fumbled around in her bag, finally pulling out the bright pink device lined with stars and jewels. Looking at the caller ID, she saw Puck's name.

'How did he get into my phone?'she thought, before answering.

"Noah, when we conversed earlier, I had asked if you would be coming to rehearsal, and you said yes."she said.

"_I know, but I'm feeling sick so I went home."_

The voice on the other line wavered and sounded breathless.

"Noah, are you alright?"she asked, her voice softening.

"_Yea, babe, I'm alright. Just gonna sleep or something."_

"Are you sure?"

"_Berry, I'm fine. Bye." _

Rachel sighed, annoyed that he had hung up on her, before turning to Schue.

"He's not feeling well. He went home."

"Of course."

.

.

.

He was NOT alright. He had been heading to the vending machine for a snack when 'it' happened again. He heard the voice.

'_You think you can fight me off you little bitch?'_

And that's all it took to have him a shaking quivering mess. He had all but ran to his locker, and grabbed his keys and jacket before booking it to his car. He jammed the keys in and started the car before stepping on the gas, flying out of the lot. His breathing was ragged and he was sweating.

He needed to get home.

Then he remembered that he had told Berry he was showing up.

Damnit.

He fumbled around in his jeans pocket, pulling out his phone at the stoplight, scrolling down to Crazy before dialing.

"_Noah, when we conversed earlier, I had asked if you would be coming to rehearsal, and you said yes."_

Typical Berry, launching right into her tirade.

"I know, but I'm feeling sick so I went home."

Crap, he sounded disgusting.

"_Noah, are you alright?"_

She sounded concerned. He was failing…

"Yea, babe, I'm alright. Just gonna sleep or something."

"_Are you sure?"_

Yes he was sure. Damn her for being such an overwhelmingly caring hot Jew.

"Berry, I'm fine. Bye."

He threw his phone on the passenger seat and focused on breathing and not crashing, before finally making it to his house. He parked before yanking his keys out and opening the door, staggering to the front door and nearly collapsing inside. He was shaking so badly he could barely walk, but he managed to make it upstairs.

Thank freaking Jehovah his mom and sister weren't home.

He pulled off his clothes, throwing them about before leaning against the wall and all but dragging himself into the shower, turning it on near scalding before sitting down in a fetal position.

He was shivering, even though the water was steaming.

"You're okay. You're okay. They won't find out. Not if you keep it together. I thought I was acting normal. What did I do wrong? I need to slushy her again. Separate myself from her. Make her hate me. Make them all hate me."

He scratched at the scars on his wrists. God he felt so disgusting and weak.

He was always a messed up kid. Crap went down with his pops. But that's a story for later.

I mean…the rape was bad enough.

While at juvie, a desperate meat sack of an ass had decided that he had liked _Puck's_ ass enough to get a bunch of other desperates to hold him down and shove their grossly enlarged man parts up his crap hole for the better part of an hour.

A whole bunch of them.

But, he took it like what was left of the man he was.

They didn't get a sound out of him.

Not a damned tear.

And after it was over, he took the sock out of his mouth, picked up his scraps of clothing, went to the shower, and watched the water run pink for 20 minutes while it mixed with his blood. Along with other fluids.

Then he threw up, and brushed his teeth to get the taste of penis out his mouth.

If it weren't for a snitch, the wardens would have never known. Security hadn't even been looking at the cameras.

They let him out early after he promised not to say anything.

Like he would have anyways.

At first he was pretty alright. Until he went to sleep. And sometimes he could feel their hands on him, and hear their voices, and while his body knew they were nowhere nearby, he would still freak the hell out.

He could here their laughter and whispers and moans and grunts.

Not all the time.

But sometimes it got so bad that he took a blade and sliced up his arms just to feel a pain he afflicted on himself than at the will of others. He needed to be in control. Not them.

It was pathetic.

They were miles away, locked up, jerking off to each other and probably ruining other kids lives.

And he was still afraid.

"If I push her away from me, I'll keep my secret. They can't know."

Glee club was basically all he had. But if pushing them away kept them from finding out how much of a wreck he was, then solitude would do just fine.

.

.

.

**Some parts of this were in another fic that I had only had up for a few hours before taking down. IIt was another idea that I scraped for now, but I took some arts of it and worked it into this fic. So those who cry plagiarism, don't, because I'd be plagiarizing myself.**

**Other than that….**

**I'm sure there are mistakes galore. Editing is a weakness of mine, one that I am working to improve.**

**I want to know what you think. I want to read the words of your thoughts, please. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Forever.**

**Many thanks to those who have journeyed through my insanity and actually read this crap-madness. You rock. ^_^**

**Much love,**

**ShutUpImWriting **


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